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Jun. 15th, 2016

pinups read too

(no subject)

You are loud and I am quiet.
And though you are
Larger than life
You do not invade my quietness.
You have you space
And I have mine,
And you do not force your space upon me
Even when I am
And take up no room at all.
You occupy the space
Next to my space
(However small it is)
And pull me into your space
To share the abundance.

Apr. 14th, 2016

pinups read too

(no subject)

Feeling the best I've felt in over a week. In other words, like myself again. Mark grilled last night and Alexis came over for dinner. Then spent last night tangled up in bed with Mark, talking way too late like we normally do.

It's good to be back.

Apr. 13th, 2016

bang bang

(no subject)

I think we've emerged from the doldrums, after much tacos, snuggling, a few movies, and some more Mexican food just for good measure.

I've finished taxes, we started our first long-term culinary project in the form of an attempt to make our own vanilla extract, and Thunder did not get adopted.

In related news, I'm actually pretty impressed at how I've gone on vacation, bought a washer and dryer, bought a new mattress, gotten my car fixed, basically bought a new winter wardrobe, and have still never been late on bills or wondered how I was going to pay for something.

All while making 10 grand less than the year before, when I would get texts from my ex saying we had $100 left in the bank til payday and rent hadn't been paid yet. I still to this day have no idea where two decent-sized paychecks went, or why bills were always paid late or only partially paid, or why my phone would be turned off because the bill hadn't been paid for literally four months, or why I was allowed 80-100 every two weeks that I had to stretch to cover any time I wanted to eat out, or go to pole class, or buy something.

And? I still have a decent-sized buffer. More savings than we EVER had while married.

I just don't get it.

One day, maybe, this will stop baffling me and pissing me off.

Until then...

Apr. 7th, 2016

pinups read too

(no subject)

We are going through a bit of a doldrums around here, it seems.

It's understandable. Mark's family dog died on Monday after a few weeks of no one knowing what was wrong with him. Thunder is hopefully getting adopted this weekend, but I'm stressing out about it. And allergies and Benedryl have turned me into a nightly zombie.


On the plus side, I've been working at Fish Eye Fun for a whole year, and got my first raise yesterday!

So... there's that.

Apr. 1st, 2016

admit one

(no subject)

Last night Art Bar closed. Almost two years ago, Mark and I made our first public appearance together at the opening night. Fittingly, we were both there at the closing.

It's a sad end of an all-too-short era of having a little nerdy bar that I actually didn't mind going to for fun.

Mar. 25th, 2016

admit one

Leaving... Not On a Jet Plane

If there's one thing I hate, it's packing. I like traveling, and I'm actually strangely looking forward to this upcoming weekend out of town at Mark's family reunion, but packing?

The worst. I can barely pick out an outfit the night before, much less plan what I want to wear two days from now. I'm already debating switching out an outfit before we leave.

So I'll be spending the weekend with around 30 of Mark's family members, and road-tripping across Missouri.

And I'll be celebrating Easter morning with an almost-five-year-old.

I didn't expect this to ever be my life, but I'm really more than ok with it.

Mar. 23rd, 2016

obedience is boring

(no subject)

Discussions on house buying. Please list under: things I didn't expect to want to do.

See also: things that would make life infinitely easier in many ways.

Mar. 22nd, 2016

Books books books

Being Bookish, Again

I think I'm finally back in my obsessive book-reading mode. I always get burned out after a winter spent trying desperately to make my goal of reading 50 books in a year. I usually start panicking in November about how far behind I am, and scramble to make it.

And then January comes along and reading takes a temporary backseat.

It's been worse this year than usual. I only just finished my 5th book of the year, tragically behind where I should be at to stay on track. But I'm feeling that itch to compulsively read, to consume books, to buy books.

So I might be back.

And about time. I've got a lot of reading to do.

Mar. 21st, 2016

this is art

The Start of Something?

Love is not some sweet song,
Or gentle poem.
It is the clash of two strange melodies
That, if you are lucky,
Will at some point sync up.

For those brief moments,
When chords compliment,
And keys coincide,
Love is everything you were told.
It is all the lovely lies,
All the enchanted flourishes.
It is easy, and beautiful,
And everyone else is envious.

But that is not truly love. No.

It is not love until your fingers bleed with trying to
find the right keys.
It is not love until you embrace the discord,
Until you make it your own,
Until you know that your song is
And always will be,
Different from all the songs in the world.
You cannot force it to harmonize,
To match beat for beat.

That is not love, my darling.

Love, oh, love,
Love is in the desire to keep playing.

Mar. 20th, 2016


The Simple Things

There is very little I love more than days spent with Mark.

Right now, this is us.

On the couch. He fell asleep reading. Both he and Thunder are snoring. It's been a wonderfully lazy day.

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