A More Bookish Life

The lovely Fleur de Guerre is doing a fabulous giveaway. All you have to do is comment! Plus, you can up your chances by reposting her giveaway. Hence, this post. :-)

I should post something, shouldn't I?

Let's just say that the most interesting and positive thing I have to say about 2010 so far is that I saw a John Wayne impersonator.

... and I'm not certain what else one can say about that. It was slightly surreal, like being in an alternate reality of uber-patriotism. Then again, we were out in the good old farm towns of Missouri. What did I expect?

My heart hurts, and so does my pride.

I think I've done it. I've slept so much over break that I have now entered into self-inflicted insomnia.

This also happened Friday night. I was up until 5 in the morning. Though it's currently only (only?) 2 in the morning, I have a feeling this could last a while. On the plus side, I think I'll finish reading Everything Matters, my first book of 2010.

On the negative side, I'm supposed to be waking up at 6:30 to shower for work. Hmm.

2009 definitely beat out 2009 as to the quantity of books read. 2008: 50 books. 2009, ftw: 54 books. I was hoping for a nice 55, but Ayn Rand had other plans.

( For those so inclined, here is a list (and brief review/reaction) of 2009's books. )

Whew. That was a project. I'll be amazed if all those links work.

I'm curious, however. What were your 2009 reads? Favorite book of 2009? Recommendations for 2010? Share!

Nothing of absolutely any importance is going on in my life. Seriously. Besides finishing Atlas Shrugged, which IS something of considerable note. Weak ending, but overall, very engaging, thought-provoking, intriguing, and frustrating. And long. Very, very long.

Had my first pole party with two of the girls I had class with. I made pear bread, which turned out marvelously. We all had fun, working on old things and trying a few new things. Putting the pole on spin is somewhat terrifying.

I really can't believe that it's going to be 2010. I don't know where the year went or how to get it back. ... though I not really certain I want to get most of it back. A lot of 2009 kindof sucked. But a lot of it was also really, really good. A lot of new friends, new activities, a major change of life, a move... all in all, I like where I am at the end of 2009 a lot more than where I was at the beginning.

A friend asked me the other day what my resolutions for 2010 were going to be. Now... I'm really not one to make resolutions. I never, ever keep them. I attempt to have goals, but those usually don't work out either. I know I want to continue on in my 50 Books in a Year goal, for the third year running. I'd like to finish Merry Widow. I'd like to write more, in general, and really... just be more productive.

I suppose we'll just have to see what happens, won't we?

And, it's Christmas Eve.

I'm a bit of a Scrooge, traditionally. This year I didn't even help decorate the tree. Alec did it while I was at work, and... I can't say that I feel like I missed out. However, this year we do have a Festivus pole, and I think I can get behind thatholiday. Though I like to perform my feats of strength on the pole, not by wrestling.

The Husband and I went to go buy our Christmas presents for each other today. Let's just say that with marriage, secretive gifts and, this year, wrapping paper, goes out the window. He dropped me off at Best Buy to get him Scrubs Season 5 (and I threw in Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince since Scrubs was on sale), then we went to The Future Antiques (one of my new favorite vintage stores) to get me a compact mirror that I wanted. And then I got a wonderful dress too, which will be worn tomorrow.

The main thing I'm excited about? HOLMES. We're totally going tomorrow morning before heading over to my parents' for Christmas dinner. It's going to be amazing.

We interrupt this lack of blogging to bring you this very special announcement:

OMG I have a pole!

(And yes, that does sound vaguely inappropriate. Deal.)

It arrived today while I was out making balloons (though I didn't know it had been delivered). Walked in the door, and seriously, guys, it was like Christmas. Alec had taken down the dining room fan/light and put up the pole. I immediately had to play.

Life is good, guys. This was just the icing on the proverbial cake. Money is back to being good (well, as good as it was before, at least), I have a week and a half off from work, and now? I have a pole of my very own.

Sometimes, it's the little things in life...

Well, it's good to say that I've gotten over myself a bit from last night, calmed down, and had a day to decompress and think. (And, you know... work.)

Thanks to a Very Wonderful Someone, our problems are not quite as bleak as they looked yesterday. There are still problems, but slightly scaled down problems. Plus, it's caused some realizations all around, and a lot of appreciation and love on my part.

It really is good to know that someone finds us worthy of generosity, and that God has pushed us into intersecting paths with such amazing people.

And, I think that's all I need to say about that.

In other news, I went to Open Mic at Wired Coffee last night for the first time in practically ages, and am really glad I went. One, because it got my mind off of selfish contemplations for a bit and two, because I genuinely enjoyed myself. There were pretty good readings (including a hilarious piece on Christmas card writing by Debbie), some new faces, and my first ever piece of memoir (a piece I wrote for and submitted to Chicken Soup) went over very well. And I wore my new hat.

Really, it's the little things that count.

One of the worst things about reading Ayn Rand (for me, at least) is realizing that I am in need of charity. In need of favors. In need of others. And without, at the moment, any means of repaying.

The money situation, in other words, just took a flailing, suicidal nose-dive. And I'm... awash in emotions. And fairly certain that Ayn Rand wouldn't even spit on me if I were on fire.

Two people showed me charity tonight. Now, it's not the first time. And it probably won't be the last. And charity may be too harsh a word (in Randian terms, at least). They care about me and offered me something for nothing.

And I am so, so grateful to be surrounded by such generous people. But I hate being in this position. I hate it. It makes me feel like a failure. Granted, in the past, I have been the one who has offered gas money, a meal, a ride. But it doesn't change my current frustration. It doesn't stop me from feeling like a failure. Or from being angry.

But.

I can't change the past. I'll just have to wipe up the spilled milk and start over again. Keep working, keep trying. It'll work out. And in the meantime, I'll just have to practice my humility and gratitude.

Thank you, to those of you who deserve it more than you know.